Please Dispose of White Trash Properly

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Remember: Put the Lid On. We wouldn’t want childern to see the truth, a message brought to you by the Online Family Safety Community Committee (OFSCC)

Hey there, I was once white trash,

Always stricken for some cash;

Didn’t bathe or comb my matts;

Because I was told I was a stupid jackass.


I somehow got out of the can,

But I dropped the lid in school, once again;

No junior or senior prom for me;

No love’in teen girls,

When I should’ve loved teen girls;


Failure was my destiny;

It was ordained in me,

By me having no cash,

And too few bucks made me white trash.


So I got a black-belt for me,

And a paper that said GED,

And had 20 jobs;

I quit them all, you see

for I hated seeing white trash liv’in, you see.


But I went to cu, cu, cu, cu, coomuunnity college,

The same that my mommy and daddy did, you see,

And got me a degree.

My brother said to me, I wish you failed, you see,

Because then you would not leave mommy, daddy, or me.


Now, I keep using “you see” because forgive me,

I’m only white trash;

Don’t be being mean to me.


So I got the BS of it all, did a couple master’s ya’ll;

So good that I got into IUP, a nice big third tier PhD.


Now, now I’m Dr. White Trash, you see.

Not good enough for the Ivy League, and

Too uppity for all of thee;

Peed on from the top, and screwed over from the bottom.


And I kinda understand a former slave, you see,

A man that taught himself to read,

With a bit of help from a white elite she.


No matter what I achieve, I’m a piece of white trash, you see,

Even after going to the Ivy League, and I did sure well, Mee, Maw

(though I never really had a grandma);

It’s that way with white trash


No matter how much I know and how much I give, no matter what I write or do,

Gosh, golly, I got a Fulbright

and teach at the community college, too.


[Pain is knowledge]


But the only place for trash like me is a bin that spells “TRASH”, you see.

Because the number of zeros determines white trash’s destiny.


At least in America, I am F[the following has been censored by the Online Family Safety and Community Committee. Please make your community child safe and beautiful; put TRASH in its proper place.]

Author: dropoutprofessor

A professor of English and Social Sciences that enjoys writing. Hope you enjoy my posts. All published work on this blog is my own. Pictures are used under license from or, unless otherwise noted.

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